Does any of this sound familiar? It was Ladies’ Movie Night downstairs. Well, basically what my grandfather would undoubtedly have referred to as a Hen Party. The squeals, giggles and sometimes uncontrollable sobbing—depending on the movie and the number of bottles of wine consumed—were commonplace and I had generally learned to tune them out. A closed door and a good ‘80’s station in the background does wonders for my level of concentration. Suddenly however, I heard raucous commotion and blood curdling screams coming from the downstairs home entertainment room. I scrambled for the handgun from my office desk drawer, slapped in a clip and headed for the door.
I’ll Save You!
The screams grew in intensity and I began to fear the worst. Surely, some crazed rapist or cat burglar standing 8 feet tall or more was terrorizing the women. Now it was up to me to be the knight in shining armor (or at the very least the nerd with the shiny gun) and probably get myself killed defending the honor of the neighborhood damsels in distress. Slowly and silently I kept down the stairs. The safety was off and I was ready to blow a hole clear through anything offering the least bit of resistance.
As I stealthily steered myself around the end of the banister, utilizing my best bad ass TV spy methods, I could see them. All were huddled together in the furthest corner of the room still screaming and pointing at their (thus far) hidden attacker. I took a huge breath, let it out slowly and tried to get a better view—and possibly a shot at—the assailant.
As I hesitantly inched forward I realized that I should be seeing the brute by now. But I saw nothing… just a wall. I looked back at the girls who were now all talking at once, still pointing in my direction. And then it happened. I was able to somehow discern one word amongst all the chaos.
Maybe it was some crazed ex boyfriend’s knick-name. But no—the horrifying creature in question was a tiny, nearly microscopic 8-legged insect defying gravity by clinging for dear life to the far wall. The shock of the sound waves alone had probably sent the thing into cardiac arrest. I trudged over to the wall, lifted my arm to put the damn thing out of its misery and was jolted by more piercing screams and furor.
“DON’T KILL IT!”
You will be surprised, that's what we hear a lot at Black Knight Pest Control!